17 Things That Happen When You’ve Been Friends With Someone For, Literally, Ever

Thought Catalog

1. Inevitably, you move to different states, go to different schools, and sometimes lose touch. But when you return, you’re still as weird and dysfunctional as ever before.

2. You don’t even need to get to the punchline anymore, they’re already laughing.

3. You become friends with their parents too, seeing as they’ve all but adopted you at this point. It’s not uncommon to receive texts from them on the reg.

4. You really do start acting like an old married couple. You’re not afraid to bicker, and honestly, you’re probably too attached to each other to stay mad for long.

5. Personal space has no bearing on you. Boundaries have completely dissolved into the “it’s 2 a.m. I’m miserable and getting into bed with you deal with it” abyss.

6. You get comfortable with silence, arguably the most awesome aspect of any relationship. You can go on trips together or…

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How to blog your way through college: Tips for the under achiever.

So you know those moments where you just have so much to do that you just take a nap. That is my life. My whole life. No, not this current moment in my life, but my entire life. This is how i cope with reality. I nap. I dream. I cannot handle the pressure and this has been my routine since 7th grade. I literally live the life of a toddler. I have a consistent nap time, my whole life is a daydream and I am an incredibly miserable person to be around if I’m hungry. (which always makes me think of friendship time in the bluebird with Ryan and Jade, good times. 3:06:31:01. Yes I am still counting.) If I’m hungry and there is no food on the near horizon I will try my darndest to make you as miserable as me. Don’t make small talk with me, we are not friends until you find the nearest Wendy’s and get me a chicken sandwich. I’m serious.

Also because of my habit of napping (or daydreaming if napping isn’t location appropriate) to escape, I find myself being a habitual procrastinator. I live under the philosophy of “Due tomorrow, do tomorrow tonight” (if the deadline is to close I panic and nap. Its like narcolepsy, but not). But being a procrastinator seems to bother everyone else but me (and my friends back home that always seem to understand my life so much more). All my college friends seem very annoyed if I say I can’t do something or go somewhere because I have an essay due the next day that I haven’t started. The introvert within me, that didn’t want to out anyway, is however very thankful for the easy excuse and I also feel as though people need not worry about homework issues as I didn’t ask for your help and have a decent enough GPA to meet my scholarship requirements, but thank you for the mini lecture, that I didn’t listen to or ask for, on how I need to give my self more time to do things. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna do the same thing next week and I’ll probably get an A, again, but your concerns were duly noted.

I say all of this to say that exam week is stressing me out. I have 2 essays due. One tomorrow and another on Thursday. Guess who hasn’t started those! College is a hoot :\ The nephilim blood within me shall get me through these 3 days. And I leave you with a meme that rings so close to my heart.

Lazy-College-Senior-meme-collection-1mut.com-7

My first instincts were probably right anyway 😀

22:12:06:13

days:hours:minutes:seconds

Yes it is that serious.

I am ready to be back on my 21×7 mile island.

Remember the me that wanted nothing more then to be “off the rock”?

That girl has died in flaming ball of ignorance that is the human race. I honestly can’t deal with the tendencies of humans. And it’s sad because I’m sure I do these things to people too  because it’s impossible to always be able to empathize with everyone but like every other teenager on this hemisphere, I feel so misunderstood…most of the time.

You know what’s important in life? Living in the moment and being happy with where you are, right now, at this very juncture in your life. You know what I’m really bad at? Living in the moment and being happy with where I am. I’m always looking foreword and saying “I’ll be so happy when I’m [insert xyz here]”.

Or maybe I’m not bad at it in and of itself but I’m bad at expressing my happiness to others? Yes? Probably. I think I’m happy here. Especially having my own room to crawl into and be an introverted turtle when I need to. I’m just realizing how good things were at home. How everyone related to each other differently than they do here and how much I have come to like that. I mean that’s were I was raised and that is my culture. Maybe I’m just experiencing some culture shock. Something I didn’t think I would experience in America because I’ve been here so many times and our culture is so heavily influenced by it. But it’s still a different culture. And that means more then just the food you eat and what you do for entertainment (though I really do dream about crab and rice and macaroni on a frequent (real talk!) a miami vice daiquiri would do me a world of good right now with some conch salad, sigh, life dread). I suppose it’s not all bad to think of how things will be in the future. How else would we know what we want in life? But I should also be happy with where I am. How else would would I enjoy this life?

Side note: I want a tiny house 😀

My richness is life forever.

It’s funny how I can go through an entire day completely fine until night falls.

Almost like the fear of the dark instilled in me as a child resurfaces, and I can hear my older family members telling tales of monsters and creatures of the night.

I can’t be the only one who experiences the fear of death just before bed.

Just as my mind settles, just as my blanket hits the height of comfort it happens. . .

“What if I die?”

Mind scattering, heart racing, slight panic attack.

Due to nothing more than a fact, living in fear of the one constant this life has to offer.

Death is the promise I wish I didn’t have to keep.

I don’t really know, sometimes I wish I could trigger the thought during my day, maybe I’d be more appreciative of every second I get to experience.

“Nothing’s ever…

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The List. I enjoy the chase so I’ll let you know we’re coming for you.

Hello, my name is Amanda and I am a mobsters daughter.

Like I said in my last post, I am not a bad a*s and I do not claim to be one. But I do have bad a*s friends.

That’s new to you isnt’t it. I know, I don’t like my business in the streets. In related news, people out in the world trying to die.

This is my life’s philosophy “BUILD BRIDGES NOT WALLS”. You don’t know people life story. And let me tell you I am very unassuming, but my parents are members of the enclave. Things happen yo. Don’t just run up on peoples kids cause you don’t know what they can do to your life. I just saying.

As a mobsters daughter I don’t go looking for trouble it just finds me. I am a member of a mob that is separate from ‘the family business’. We go by the name ‘The Mob’. We’re not complicated ladies (and gentleMAN).

This is our list of people that are to be ‘shanked’, ‘whited out’ and/or mentally tortured:

  1. Eve (because you really could have thought it through more in the garden, now I’m over here stressing cause you was hungry for apples)
  2. Eric (pissed me off early this blessed saturday morning. You have like 4 strikes on your name already)
  3. Theo
  4. The other Theo
  5. Marvin (I don’t have time for the games and I was just reminded of my hatred for you)
  6. Troy (‘Cause I don’t like you. Never did, never will)
  7. Duran (Nigga I don’t know you or your story but if Lathel don’t like you, you clearly ain’t no good)
  8. Deangelo (I don’t know you but bye)
  9. Devand (You had it good for to long, time to go)
  10. Devard
  11. Mcgarret
  12. Jamal
  13. Mott (Before you go let me inform you that you are not swaggin’)
  14. Gary
  15. Gary from Teen Mom (You are WACK!)
  16. Van (dude I’ve never even heard your name before but we don’t ask questions in the mob)
  17. The annoying short dude that goes to C.O.B (the bright one)
  18. The other annoying short dude that goes to C.O.B (the dark one who thinks he’s a mack daddy, boy catch yourself)
  19. Lathel annoying roommate who thinks that she has friends (Girl bye, all mob members friend quota filled)
  20. Vader (or how ever you spell your name, send it to us so we can get it right on your tombstone)
  21. Macy ( you have to many people out for you)
  22. The whore from Q.C. class of 2012
  23. Kreshuan (Don’t covet the D’s of mob members boyfriends)
  24. Shavon
  25. Didi’s cousin (stupidity will not be tolerated)
  26. My annoying roommate
  27. Uninvited humans at the S.A.C. table
  28. PEGASUS
  29. Allison from Teen Wolf (I hope you die in the show, I really do)
  30. Cynthia’s rude a*s friend who think she has strips
  31. The two faced b*tch at Atlantis who spreads lies
  32. Earl Johnson
  33. The creepy african guy at Richmond that tries to get with every black girl
  34. Waynesha (Why is that even your name – you have to go)
  35. SUDAN (wack name also – you have to go)
  36. All the CJ’s who currently have baby mommas
  37. Mimi
  38. Blake (You are something else!)
  39. REN & STIMPY
  40. Tevin G.
  41. The woman who assaulted Tasha’s nose with her fish market penis collector
  42. Darius
  43. Devaughn
  44. The freshman who think they are in the mob (Girls bye this is not a game)
  45. Deleena
  46. Nicholas
  47. Eon
  48. Lindsey Lohan ( your existence is annoying)
  49. Jermaine (OMG so many people hate you so much)
  50. The loud mouth people at Jade’s work who always have to much to say
  51. All the thirsty dudes who be trying to bring up the past
  52. Thirsty whores who try to take guys in relationships (RUDE!)
  53. Satan

All entire are subject to sentence change or complete removal from the list if you are brought before the consul and your case is approved before your sentence is carried out (if not, tough nuggets).

How to avoid people you secretly hate: Tips for the Passive Agressive

Hello, my name is Amanda and I am passive aggressive.

I am honestly not one for conflict. I am not a bad ass and I do not claim to be one. I am however one very passive aggressive nephilim and I can and will get you fired from your job with a series of formal and well structured memos.
A side from that though my lack of appeal to conflict can place me in tight situations when I hate people but they don’t know. And these people inevitably begin to feel like we are the best of friends and I have to find strategic ways to avoid them. So here are some tips to help those that are passive aggressive nephilim like me and there is no on you can send a memo to.

Avoiding roommates (I’ve got this one completely down):
1. Always wear headphones. ALWAYS. you don’t even have to play music. Sit at your desk and do whatever you want just have headphones in and ignore away. It’s like shes not even there.
Roommate: hey Amanda.
Me with headphones in: (no answer)
Roommate: (louder) Amanda
Me: (lol why this girl raising her voice at me)
Roommate: heeeelllloooo
Me: (girl bye)

2. Always be asleep. Or going to sleep. This one is super easy for me as I do quite enjoy sleep. But seriously I just say ‘I’m ganna take a nap now *turns out light lays in bed and reads book for hours on ipad*’.

3. Lock yourself in a study room all day. I swear the study room is my bedroom. I plan on spending my entire Saturday in there cause y’all humans don’t be focused on the realities of life.

4. Become a part of something they hate in hopes that they will dislike  you as much as you secretly dislike them. My roommate is really self righteous so this is an easy task.

Being the only Nephilim on Campus

Not exactly sure if this statement is entirely true. Hopefully it’s not because they spend most of the time in sessions talking about how we are going to find our soul mates. I don’t fully understand the dynamics of human dating rituals but from what I gathered so far you met a person one day and the next day your Facebook relationship status is changed and you’re supposedly expected to be head over heels in love with this person. The rumors about how much people talk about marriages at christian schools are true. Believe everything they tell you. I thought I would be able to handle it but it’s starting to get pretty annoying. Then people gush over super cute married couples (that are still in school by the way) and I’m just there like “why do they look so bored with their lives, oh wait did you say their still in school, oh ok it all makes sense now.” I mean I’m not ganna sit here and judge anyones life but I don’t see the logic behind that. Some people say if you’re in love with someone and you’re ganna spend the rest of your life with them then why wait? I say ‘if you’re in love with someone and you’re ganna spend the rest of your life with them, then WHY WE RUSHING!?’ If I’m supposed to find the love of my life/ the only dude I’m meant to be with then why is there a TIME LIMIT on the time I have to find him. What you’ll need to do is not rush me. And as much as I would love to have a boyfriend I don’t think 2 days is enough time for me to determine wether or not I want to be in a relationship with you. This is why people have so much relationship problems. First of all I have to find out if you’re nephilim or not because I can’t date a non-nephilim, that’s against my religion. And if you give away you’re nephilim heritage to willingly then you are clearly not a good nephilim. There’s this saying on campus “3 swings then a ring”. I guess we only going on the swing once a year then? Is that what you’re implying? Cause that don’t seem to safe to me. I don’t know maybe it’s my bahamian/nephilim heritage mixing a bad combination.

On another note.

My parents left yesterday and I did have an emotional breakdown. I don’t know how much longer I can hold it together in front of people. I’m not used to this consent human presence and it’s slowly driving me up the wall. This campus is full of extroverts and they’re just running around all happy and excited about being around people and going to events and I’m hiding in a corner like “when is everyone ganna LEAVE”. I’m an extreme introvert (meaning that I am physically drained from human interaction, no joke, google it, I read it in parenting magazine – don’t ask me why I was reading, I DON’T HAVE KIDS). Everyone went to a county  fair last night (including my roommate and all my suite-mates) and let me tell you, I WAS IN HEAVEN. I mean everyone is super sweet and funny and nice and all that good stuff but do you know how good it felt to just sit in my room and listen to music and do laundry. YES, I did laundry and I LOVED IT! Everyone here is so nice and it makes me feel so bad for sometimes wishing them all away. I just have a few more days though. (117:05:33:50 – I have a timer on my phone c: ). I miss my parents and my friends already.

I hope I can hold it together.

How to Make Friends 101: Tips for the Socially Awkward

This AC is on.

But I’m hungry.

No problem I’ll eat cereal. With my nephilim blood I could live off cereal and milk for years.

Oh wait. I can’t eat because I have to take a blood test tomorrow. More needles. I swear I get a vaccine or a blood test every 6 months. And you would think this means that my parents are super cautious about illnesses and whats not, but they’re so not. I could be complaining of pains for days and they would just ignore me. I just got a freakin’ chicken pox vaccine. I’ve already had the chicken pox. But I still got the vaccine. And I’ll probably have to get the follow up shot in a few months as well. This is something else.

But I digress.

That is not what this post is about as you can clearly tell from the (pronounced ‘thee’ cause its fancier in my head) title. This post has two main goals. 1. To provide tips for socially awkward people seeking to increase their social circles and 2. To increase my activity level on this here blog.

As a person that is a self proclaimed socially “awkward black girl”, I consider myself the last person you should ever seek out for social consul. But as you can tell from the large overbearing calendar that is forever looming over my head, I am about to take an important step in my life (the transfer) that will put me in a position where I will be yanked from the comforts of my tiny island (21 x 7, real talk, google it) and thrust into a bustling metropolis filled only with complete strangers where the only familiar faces are oceans away. With this daunting fate ahead of me I found myself trying reach back into my subconscious and conscious memories and pull up the skills I employed to make the wonderful friends I have today, so that I could make this move a tad less overwhelming by at least being able to make friends easily.

The memories I have of my first high school (grade 7 is when ‘high school’ begins, just to clarify in case you were confused by some cultural difference) days without friends are very fuzzy ones, but i have managed to grab bits and pieces and figure out or at least guess as to how I made friends.

The conclusion I came to is that I simply made friends by lingering around the same people. No, not making small talk with the same people over and over until ya’ll realize “hey we get along well let’s be friends”. But just simply being there until they realize “hey you’re always here, let’s be friends”.

Disclaimer: This method of friendship making can cause you to be mistaken for a creepy stalker. But if you suffer (which I don’t, I fully embrace it) from social awkwardness, I strongly recommend this method and feel that it is fully worth the risk.

Its also really helpful when you find it hard to make conversation or be yourself around people you’re not particularly close with, because once you’ve been around the person for a while you will feel a certain familiarity. It also helps if you can just throw in little witty tidbits that makes the potential friend feel less threatened by your presence.

In closing I would just like to throw in for possible legal issues that I am in no way encouraging anyone to stalk anyone, just linger. And be pleasant.